Bad Day
by Selestyna Arpa364
Summary: Unohana is having a very bad day, until Kenpachi comes! Rated T for swearing and awkward situaltions for Unohana. UnoxKen


Captain Unohana was having a _bad day_. No, correct that, bad WEEK. Why? Several Menos appeared in Karakura town wrecking havoc. This filled up a quarter of the sick rooms. Then the Squad 12 barracks exploded unexpectedly from some experiment of the Captain's. That filled up another quarter of her beds, and their wounds were harder to treat because no one knew what the captain had been experimenting with. Probably something radioactive or poisonous. And for no reason in particular, it seemed half of the Lieutenants, plus fifty or so more officers decided to have a HUGE sake party the night before, so hung over men and women were coming in for treatment. Plus it was still mid-April, and a nasty bout of the flu was going around the Soul Society. AND Isane was sick with food poisoning (how THAT happened is anyone's guess, but she had a feeling it had something to do with her trip to the world of the living recently. And she refused help from her Captain.) She had a mountain of paperwork to do AND she had a headache.

Oh yes, she was having a bad day indeed.

In her (rare) spare moment, she sat in her office enjoying a cup of sweet green tea. She was about to take her third sip when Hanataro burst into her office, the bang from the door knocking the teapot onto a stack of paperwork on the floor. She put on a smile for the poor boy and asked, "Hanataro, how can I help you?" he appeared to be out of breath and scared.

Very scared.

"I-it's Squad 11! They were having a training session."

Unohana raised her eyebrows. "Oh?" She could see where this was going. "How many should we be expecting?"

"22.5."

".5?"

"Lieutenant Yachiru is coming." Ah. That made sense. As if on cue, Kenpachi Zaraki burst through the door with an unhappy-looking Yachiru on his shoulder. His uniform was ripped in several places and blood was running freely on his chest and arms.

Hanataro promptly yelled in surprise, fright, and overall outrage at someone bursting into his Captain's office without even knocking. Unohana didn't even flinch when he burst into the office. Over the years she learned to expect this kind of behavior from the Captain. "Hanataro, please inform the other squad members about our new arrivals and please assist them."

"Y-yes ma'am." She never saw him run so fast.

Wordlessly Kenpachi stared at her she stared back calmly. Without breaking eye contact, Kenpachi lifted Yachiru from his shoulder and gently deposited her onto Unohana's desk.

Unohana immediately focused on the little girl, now posed like a drunk teddy bear on her desk. Unohana smiled at the Lieutenant. "So what hurts Yachiru?" Only Unohana called her just Yachiru. Mostly because she was the only one not afraid of what Kenpachi would do if they left off the 'Lieutenant'. Yachiru looked at Unohana, and the Captain noticed she looked a bit green.

"My tummy hurts."

"Your stomach?" She thought a second, then asked, "what have you eaten today Yachiru?"

"Candy."

"Ah. Anything else?" The little girl shook her head. Unohana smiled gently _It figures. _She used a quick kido spell on Yachiru. "Better?" Yachiru nodded. "No more candy today ok? And don't forget to eat your meal before you eat candy." Yachiru nodded, then jumped off her desk, accidentally spilling some paperwork on the ground. Unohana was a bit ticked that all the paperwork was messed up, but ignored the feeling when Yachiru said, "KEEEENNY'S TURN!"

She turned to the Captain. He shrugged and grunted in response, which roughly translated to, _go ahead I don't care._ He turned to Yachiru. "Hey, kid. This is gonna take a while…"

"Ok Kenny, I'll go find Baldy and play with him," she ran out of the room. "See you later!"

Unohana smiled, then asked Kenpachi, "Would you mind coming to a free sick room? It's rather unsanitary to heal patients in my office."

"Keh, yea yea, I'll go." She led him to a small room across the hall and two doors down from her office. It was pearly white, with a small window, a bed, and curtains which closed off the bed. There was also a chair, but other than that, the furnishings for this room were rather simple.

She indicated for him to sit on the bed, but he instead sat on the chair. She didn't argue; instead she sat on the bed. "Alright, first, how did you get these injuries?"

"I was fighting."

"With your men?"

"Some of them were, but most of these were from my fight with Ichigo. He came from the real world with Rukia, so I took the opportunity to practice with him." He grinned wolfishly.

"Ah. What sort of state is he in?"

"He'll live. He went back to Karakura town, I think he said something about someone called Orihime."

"Oh, well if he has gone to see her then he'll be fine." Silence fell for a second. "Would you remove your uniform so I can better asses your injuries?"

"Ok." He stood and began to undo his belt. "Captain Zaraki! I meant only remove the top part of your uniform!" She blushed a little at his brashness. And for another reason; for a while now she had been harboring feelings toward this man, and she didn't know why. She put all thoughts in the back of her head and concentrated on Kenpachi.

Who was now stripped to the waist. Great.

Her eyes widened at the sight of so much of his blood. Long wounds crisscrossed his chest, some deep some not. There were more on his back she guessed, and several on his face and neck. "Would you mind lying down on the bed so I can reach?"

"Keh. I'm not lying down on the bed." Unohana sighed. She had a feeling he wouldn't. She doubted his pride would let him even sit while wounded unless she asked him to or if Yachiru insisted. She started with his arms, using a special kido to heal the numerous cuts and gashes on there. For the deeper gashes, she was required to put her hands on Kenpachi's arm. She couldn't help blushing as she touched his well-muscled arms, sliding them down to heal the long gashes. She subconsciously noticed that his arms were large and well-muscled, but she ignored it and moved to his hand which was covered in cuts and blood.

She gently took his large hand into both of hers. She was blushing lightly, but again ignored it. She healed his other arm, then paused.

"What's up," asked Kenpachi. She looked at him, then said "Well, I'm trying to figure out how to heal your torso without asking you to lay down."

"What, you can't reach?"

"No, Captain, I can't, you are far too tall."

"Keh. That or you're too short. And call me Kenpachi. The whole 'captain' thing is getting annoying."

She sighed, "As you wish Kenpachi, but this still doesn't solve how I will reach to heal your torso."

He grinned. "I have a solution to that." Without another word, he picked her up and gently sat her in his lap. To say Unohana was embarrassed would be a gross understatement. She had to balance herself on Kenpachi's lap by holding onto his chest, and he had wrapped one arm around her back, resting his large hand on her hip to keep her upright. His other hand was lightly resting on her knee. "There," Kenpachi said. "Problem solved."

Unohana nodded numbly, then began healing his chest, beginning with the right side. She placed her palms directly on his chest since there were lots of large cuts to heal. It took ten minutes just to heal the cuts just above his heart. _If this keeps up, I won't be able to heal him before nightfall._ She began healing the area over his heart. (YES this meant his nipples. He merely laughed at her obvious discomfort)

Finally, after 20 minutes, she moved her hands down to his abdominal muscles. They were covered in blood, but through the red sheen, she could still see that they were well defined from all his continuous training. She blushed, this was the first time she had to touch a man's chest and torso directly. She did her best to work quickly so to prevent too much loss of blood. (At least that's what she told herself.)

When she healed most of his right chest (she dare not ask him to lower his pants slightly for fear of what he might do) he picked her up, and turned her around so she could heal his left side. She did so after another hour of long kido work.

Unohana sighed, grateful to finally be out of Kenpachi's lap. "Now for your back Cap-Kenpachi." He stood and dropped his pants. Unohana turned around covering her eyes with her hand. She was lucky, he was wearing a white loin-cloth looking underwear beneath his uniform. "Captain this is really not necessary…"

"Yeah it is. You didn't heal the area beneath my uniform, and I know for a fact I have a gash beneath my pants that hurts like hell."

"Yes, well…can you please put them back on?" This was getting ridiculous.

"No."

"Wha-?"

"I have a gash on my thigh."

"O-oh…well, then can you use your uniform to cover, erm…the essential parts," [insert Kenpachi laugh here] "and I'll finish." She heard the rustling of fabric, then she was airborne. Kenpachi had picked her up with one hand (he used the other to hold his uniform pants in place), turned her to face him, and sat down. Unohana was now standing in between his legs. Getting the idea, she began healing the gash on his thigh. Kenpachi was right, it was long, and in a tricky spot, inside his thigh and on the bottom side. He must have been fighting in the air when he received this gash. Her face was probably admitting more heat than Head Captain Yamamoto's bankai for having to touch him so close to his…she didn't even want to think about it…

She moved onto the gash on his lower abdominal. It wasn't _that_ far beneath his pants line, but it was a stab wound, which was tricky since it was small, but deep. She quickly turned when she was finished, but he turned her around again, "I can't put my pants on yet, I have another gash right above my—"

"I'll see to that now then…" He turned around and she began to heal the gash he had on the small of his back. When she was finished with that spot, Kenpachi promptly kneeled for her to heal his upper back and shoulders. She sighed, and began healing said areas. She was becoming tired rather fast, having used extensive amounts of kido in such a short time. When she was about to heal a large cut on his shoulder blade, she thought about asking him if he would mind waiting several minutes for her to recover.

"Kenpachi I think I—" The door burst open. Hanataro ran in "CAPTAIN! I…" He saw Kenpachi kneeling with his pants uniform covering his [censored thought] without wearing anything else. His own captain was rubbing Kenpachi's shoulders. There was an awkward pause, then Kenpachi growled, "Didja want something kid?"

Hanataro turned pale, let out a scream and ran out the room, screaming something about 'captain love'. Unohana was boiling inside. _CAPTAIN LOVE? WHAT? WHAT A REDICULUS NOTION!_ However, she calmly stepped around Kenpachi and closed the door. She silently finished healing his back. She was about to walk out of the room when Kenpachi grabbed her hand. It took all of her self control not to snap back.

"Yes Captain?"

"My face."

"Your face?"

"You didn't heal it."

"Oh…" She turned around and to her relief he had his pants back on. He sat down on the chair again and she walked forward. When she was close enough he picked her up by the waist and arranged her so she was kneeling on his lap. She gently touched his face, healing the cuts as she worked her hands up and down.

"You look tired," Kenpachi remarked bluntly. She nodded wordlessly, she was almost out of kido…she had used too much healing everyone else during the week. She used up the rest of her kido just as she finished the last cut.

Kenpachi noticed her change. "Hey, Unohana. You ok?" She nodded as she slid off his lap. She meant to stand, but her legs wouldn't support her and Kenpachi caught her against his chest as she fell forward, unconscious.

He picked her up bridal style and carried her to the bed. He sat with his back against the headboard and leaned her against his chest. He looked down at the Captain passed out in his arms, her face pale and dark circles beneath her eyes. _Damn, looks like she's been putting in some long hours…taking care of the entire hospital must be hell…_he gently patted her cheeks, saying, "Oi, Unohana. You awake?" after several failed attempts, he decided to let her rest. To keep him occupied he decided to give her a stress-relieving massage he learned from before he was Captain.

He shifted her body so her back was a little ways away from his chest and slowly began to rub her shoulder blades in circles. He couldn't have been rubbing for more than 30 seconds when he heard a surprised gasp and Unohana jumped a bit.

"Captain! Er-Kenpachi? What are you doing?" She dared not move because that would mean she would have to climb _over_ Kenpachi's legs. Plus whatever he was doing to her back felt _really_ relaxing.

"Glad to see you're awake. You passed out after healing me, so I put you on the bed and now I'm massaging your back. Damn your knots have knots, what the hell have you been doing?"

Unohana could answer that easily, "My job."

He grunted in response. _Good answer_. "Hey, Unohana, to make it easier for me, will you take off your Captain's robe?" The other Captain blushed, but obliged silently. She neatly folded it and placed it next to her.

Kenpachi watched her as she did this, then returned to her original position, only her back was ramrod straight.

"Calm down Unohana, this is supposed to relax you, so stop straightening your back like you have a poker stuck up your ass." She immediately slumped her shoulders into a more comfortable position. Kenpachi laughed a little, then continued rubbing her shoulder blades.

Unohana unconsciously let out a soft sigh and let her head slump forward. From her shoulder blades, he moved to her upper back, using the heel of his palm to carefully massage her. He placed his thumbs on either side of his spine, then dragged them down only as far as mid-back. He felt her shiver, but he ignored it.

He moved up to her shoulders, gently rubbing the tops and sides, even allowing himself to rub her upper arms gently. Truthfully, he was enjoying touching Rets-Unohana (no he did NOT just try to call her by her first name) as much as she enjoyed the actual massage.

After he finished her shoulders, the female Captain sat up straight and said formally, "Thank you Captain, that was quite refreshing, but now I need to go…" She made a move to stand up but he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her flush to his stomach.

He whispered in her ear. "I'm not done yet." She blushed as he began to use the tips of his fingers to carefully massage her neck. His fingers worked wonders on the knots in her neck and Unohana couldn't help but smile lazily at how nice it felt.

His fingers reached the top of her neck, where her braid began. "You know, it will be easier for me if you take out your braid." Unohana's heart began to beat faster. She _never_ took out her braid in front of others. It was her security, and her only pride.

"Well?" Her heart skipped a beat as she nodded. Kenpachi moved his arm that he had around her shoulders and carefully followed the braid down until he reached the end. He undid the ribbon that held it together and undid her braid.

"Damn Ret-Unohana, you got a lotta hair." _Phew, caught himself just in time._ Unohana smiled, "Yes, well I've been growing it since I was very young." Kenpachi grunted in response. He moved both hands to massage the base of her head, blurring the part of her hair.

Unohana could already feel her headache going away. Kenpachi was being so gentle, yet he knew exactly where to massage to relax her. By the time his hands stopped, it was dark outside and the kido lamps had automatically come on (it was a small invention of Unohana, and it worked similar to the lights in the world of the living).

Unohana opened her eyes slowly. Kenpachi was resting his hands on her shoulders. "Thank you Captain that was—" She never finished her sentence for shock. Kenpachi had leaned forward and kissed the back of her neck.

Unohana's eyes widened, and she gasped in surprise when she was picked up again. Kenpachi turned her to face him, then gently plopped her down onto his now crossed legs. Unohana quickly crossed her legs and tried not to stare at his face.

Fail.

Kenpachi turned her chin up to him, smiling evilly, "I'm not done rubbing your head yet." Unohana's blush reappeared as he moved her hair to her back and gently began to rub the area right behind her ears. She let out another soft sigh. It felt wonderful.

He slowly rubbed the top of her head, the sides, and even the area below her ears. She opened her eyes when she felt him stop. One of his hands traveled down to her neck while the other rested on her knee. His face had gotten closer…Unohana predictably blushed crimson. Kenpachi leaned down and kissed her jaw right beneath her ear.

"I'm still not done, Retsu…unless you want me to stop."

Unohana blushed more and her heart began to beat twice its normal rate. He was gentle and his hand placements were neither violating nor inappropriate. She nodded quickly to encourage him. He kissed the same spot again, then her forehead, her eye, then finally her lips.

Unohana was trembling, blushing like a tomato and embarrassed as hell, but she couldn't be happier at that moment. Kenpachi's lips were on hers, they were gentle, warm, and it felt so nice.

Kenpachi broke the kiss to look into Unohana's face for her reaction. She was smiling, genuinely smiling at him. _Beautiful._ He kissed her again, this time a little more forcefully. He parted his lips and his tongue flicked out to taste her bottom lip. Unohana jumped slightly but allowed her tongue to slip out of her own mouth to meet his.

Unohana moved to try to wrap her arms around his neck, but couldn't reach. She settled for resting her hands on his bare chest until Kenpachi laughed into their kiss.

"I was right Retsu, I'm not too tall, you're just too short." He kissed the top of her head as if to prove his point.

"Then what do you suggest Kenpachi?" She smiled.

"Well if it doesn't make you any more uncomfortable than you already are…" He picked her up bridal style again and arranged her to face the headboard.

"I still can't reach…"

"I'm getting to that." He kissed her again, immediately silencing all protests and allowing his tongue to slip inside her mouth.

Carefully he lay her down on the bed, supporting her entire head and back with his right arm. He lay down next to her, not wanting to seem too forward. (A little late for THAT Kenpachi…) She turned to him, this time wrapping her arms around his broad back and pulling him close. Kenpichi did likewise, only he was gentle with the Healing Captain.

Unohana moved her hands to his chest again, deciding she liked them there best. His chest was warm and smooth despite all of the cuts and bruises she just healed. Kenpachi rested his hand on her hip while he used his other hand to run his fingers through her hair.

When they finally parted for air, it was Kenpachi that smiled. Not one of his evil 'I'll kick your ass' smiles but a happy smile, like the ones he reserved for Yachiru.

She returned his smile, just in time to hear a crash just outside the room. Neither of them moved, then Yachiru burst through the door smiling over one of her recent escapades. She saw her Captain and Unohana and paused. "Kenny! Are you and Braid Lady taking a nap together?"

Neither Captain moved, until Unohana said, "Yes, Yachiru, we were just about to go to sleep for the night, would you like to join us?" Yachiru nodded. Kenpachi blinked. _Us?_ Unohana glanced over to Kenpachi, "You don't mind, do you Kenpachi?"

Kenpachi smiled his genuine smile again. "Nah, I don't mind. C'mere kid, turn off the lights first will ya?"

"YAAAY!" Yachiru turned off the lamps and climbed onto the bed, settling in between the two Captains. She pulled the blankets over everyone and turned toward Kenpachi.

"Night Kenny."

"Night kid."

"Night Braid Lady"

"Good night Yachiru. Good night Kenpachi."

"G'night Retsu."

The two Captains were still facing each other, only with Yachiru in the middle. Kenpachi leaned over her to kiss the Captain, then they all settled to sleep. Unohana smiled. _Perhaps this wasn't such a bad day after all._


End file.
